Eat, Pray, Love: Bali Prophecies

Right around the time that I lived in Indonesia, Eat, Pray, Love was taking off. Lets face it, what woman wasn’t dreaming of gallivanting off to Italy for the fine Italian…pasta…and seeking sanctuary and relaxation in India and Bali. Liz Gilbert was our idol, and in her honor, we visited THE Wayan—the actual traditional healer from the book—in Ubud.   Pictures of Julia Roberts and Elizabeth Gilbert cheered us on as Wayan grabbed our hands, pinched our cheeks, rubbed cream on our faces, made us swallow vitamins, and examined us from top to bottom: Wayan: You like sweets and eat too many. You need to stop. Your blood is dirty. You are a 5th generation reincarnation. You dated a man for 3.5 years and had two jobs. Me: [Stunned silence. That first and last sentences were definitely true] Yes, ma’am. Wayan: You have too much acid in your stomach. You…

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